Hi sweet friends!!
This weekend we hit the half way point in our marriage course – 3 weeks down and 3 weeks to go!!
And I I have to tell y’all that yesterday Taylor & I were talking and we both said how we’ve each noticed differences in ourselves and changes in each other as a result from what we’ve learned so far.
How cool is that? Thank you, Kirk & Chelsea!!
Both of us have really taken this course to heart and we have been trying so hard to practice everything we’re learning so that in time we won’t need to practice anymore and instead we will begin to act out of habit. Our desire to have a long lasting healthy & loving marriage is so strong and every week we are learning how to be a better partner to our spouse, how to serve them better and how to really love one another with the same kind of love that God has for each of us.
We are so thankful for what we have learned so far and I am especially grateful for all of you who have been following us through this journey and I hope that we are continually inspiring you in the way that we have been inspired over the last couple of weeks.
I know that I have said this already, but I have to say it again – I would highly recommend this course. You don’t need to have any problems, you don’t have to have an unhealthy marriage and you don’t even need to be going through anything, I really think it is so beneficial for any marriage. I have been asked a few times now if Taylor & I are having problems and if that’s why we’ve chosen to take the course, and the answer is no. We don’t have any serious problems that are currently threatening our marriage, but for us, we want to be proactive and do what we can now to avoid getting to that point later on in our marriage.
So with that being said, if you want to do the course (which you should!!!) click here! And y’all it’s only $34.99, which is a STEAL! I think I can speak for both of us when I say that it is 100% worth the $35 dollar investment.
And if you buy the class be sure to comment below and let us know!!!
. . .
Okay! Let’s get on with lesson 3, which was about forgiveness.
“The truth is, marriage is the joining of two imperfect people – two people that are sinners. And in order for a marriage to be healthy and thrive, forgiveness must be an essential practice.” – Kirk Cameron
Forgiveness is hard and it is certainly much easier said than done. It is especially hard because we have been raised in a culture where forgiveness isn’t the answer, but we are called by God to forgive others as he has forgiven us.
So the first question on our study guide was to think of some things that our spouse has done that we have held onto or that we have not forgiven them for.
Taylor & I couldn’t come up with anything . . . And that’s good! I am so thankful that neither one of us is holding onto anything that one of us has done in the past, however just because there is nothing now doesn’t mean that something won’t happen later on that one, or both of us, won’t want to forgive the other for.
And when that happens, how are we going to respond?
The whole lesson here was that we need to learn how to forgive in the freest, purest, most constant and unconditional form.
We have to learn to forgive like God has, and continues to forgive us.
Matthew 6:14 – 15
“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as 7 times? Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times”
I have always loved this verse. It is a such a profound example of forgiveness and how we must learn to forgive over, and over and over again even when that person does not deserve it.
As a culture we don’t want to forgive, because we don’t want people taking advantage of us, we think that the other person should apologize first, we don’t think that they deserve to be forgiven or we want to get them back and hurt them the way that they hurt us.
I think the same goes in marriage – I know that for Taylor & I it did. I really struggled with forgiveness. If Taylor said something that hurt me I would stay angry and bitter for a long time, much longer than I should have. I would bury it inside and then at random times I would think of that thing he did and I would randomly get grumpy with him or simply be bitter towards him.
And then for Taylor, if I did something that upset him, he would be angry for a few minutes, get over it and then be fine – but he wasn’t really fine. He would bury his feelings and then over time they would build up and one day it would all just blow up and we would get in a big fight.
Both of these things were a result of us not forgiving one another. Eventually we came to forgive each other, but by the time we had done that we had wasted so much time being angry or bitter towards the other person and it caused us to be short tempered and disrespectful toward one another.
And to be honest with you, at the time I don’t know that either of us realized that we weren’t forgiving the other person, but looking at it now, that is exactly what we were doing and it was causing unnecessary hurt and anguish in our relationship.
In marriage we are bound to hurt one another, never intentionally of course, but in those moments I think it is so important to simply act with love and forgive your spouse, even when it doesn’t feel like they deserve it.
With as much as we disobey and dishonor God, we are not deserving of his forgiveness or his love, but he loves and forgives us anyways – no matter what. How amazing is that?
We are so fortunate and blessed to have such a loving, forgiving and amazing God that loves us more than anything. If we can learn to love others, especially our spouses, in the way that God loves us, I can only imagine the profound impact it will have on your marriage and your life.
There was one other part of the lesson that I really loved and it was Chelsea talking about how unforgiveness was like a cancer in the way that it just eats you up inside and it steals your joy.
When I heard her say that I became genuinely sad, because I thought about how many times I have let my pride, anger or whatever it may be stand in the way of my forgiving someone and how much joy I lost because of that.
And after sort of having that realization, I really just came to understand how important forgiveness really is and how much of yourself you can lose by not forgiving someone. So from here on out, we are both practicing forgiving each other more and learning to forgive and love each other just as God loves us.
And like I said earlier, it is much easier said than done – I know. But if you do anything or take anything from this post, I ask that you try and practice free, pure, constant and unconditional forgiveness.
Forgive even when they don’t deserve it.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I'm Emilee. Twenty-something. Homebody. Believer in a simple + intentional life. Daughter of the King. Living in Austin with my hubs.
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