Hi sweet friends!
I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend! I’m not sure about you, but this weekend was so much needed – Taylor was in class all weekend, which was a bummer, but it did give me the opportunity to clean up the house and get a little bit of time to just relax. Oh how I love the weekend!
And once again I am so excited because today is #MARRIAGEMONDAY, and we’re getting so close to the end of our marriage course – only one week left!
I have to admit that I am so bummed that we’re almost done with the course - this class has been so helpful to Taylor & I and we have just been so inspired by Kirk & Chelsea. The other night I looked at Taylor and said, “you know, I think I just need a mini Kirk and Chelsea on my shoulders at all times . . . “ That’s how helpful they have been!
In all honesty, we have seriously been so encouraged by their words and their wisdom and it has been such a privilege for us to learn from them over these past few weeks.
Like I have said many times before, I would 100% recommend this class – its only $35 dollars and it is absolutely worth it. Before doing the class I was just excited about what may come from it and what we’d learn doing it, but these past 5 weeks have taught me so much more than I ever could have thought and I am so eternally grateful.
With that being said, if you want to learn more about the course click here and if you want to purchase the course (which you should!!!!) click here!
And if you have missed any of my previous #marriagemonday posts I linked them below:
Marriage Monday | Lesson 1
Marriage Monday | Lesson 2
Marriage Monday | Lesson 3
Marriage Monday | Lesson 4
OKAY! On to lesson 5 . . .
I really loved this lesson. Like the last lesson, it was focused on kids and parenting, but both Taylor & I found this one a little bit more relatable because there was also a lot of focus on marriage.
Kirk and Chelsea started off the lesson by talking about family traditions and how important those are – One of their traditions that they shared was ‘blessing their children’. Every night before bed both Kirk & Chelsea place their hand on their son or daughter and they say a blessing over them.
Part of what they say comes from the Book of Numbers when the Lord says to Moses
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.”
I loved that.
This led into a discussion about how important it is to show love and encouragement to your children and how to bless your children as often as possible – this means simply encouraging them, telling them that you love them, lifting them up, listening to them, telling them that you’re proud of them, etc.
I don’t have kids and am not a parent, but I have been a child and I can tell you that both of my parents blessed me all the time – I remember my mom would say a prayer over me at night before bed & my dad was, and still is, the most encouraging dad and my number one fan. I wholeheartedly believe that these things that they did, which may have seemed like nothing at the time, played a significant role in how I was raised and they turned me into the person I am today.
These things, no matter how small, are important and they matter.
Kids remember these things – I certainly do and I’m so grateful to my parents for raising and loving me so well.
. . .
The other part of the lesson was focused around two things – 1. More is caught than taught and 2. Priorities
Kids catch on to a lot of things – think about why you don’t curse in front of your kids . . . because they pick up everything and the likelihood of them repeating that word is pretty high.
So we just don’t do it.
This is just one small example of how more is caught than taught, so Kirk & Chelsea talked about the importance of being an example for your kids in everything you do, because they watch, they learn and they grow up repeating those habits that they have learned – especially in marriage.
How often is it that marriages fall to the wayside when kids come into the picture?
I would say it happens more often than not – and I don’t think that any one person is to blame, but I do think that because kids are needy and demanding, the priorities shift from marriage first to kids first almost immediately . . .
Kirk & Chelsea say that the best gift that you can give your children is a healthy marriage, and in order to do so you have to put marriage first – you have to put your spouse above your kids.
It is too easy to be distracted and let things get in the way of your marriage, whether it is kids, money, work or whatever – You have to make time for your spouse even in all of the chaos - no matter how busy life gets.
Your spouse has to be a priority.
This doesn’t mean neglecting your kids at all or ignoring them or anything of that matter – this simply means that with everything in life you have priorities and it is just looking at the scenario and deciding what is most important in that moment and how that reaction is going to look and feel to your kids and your spouse.
This ties back to this idea of more being caught than taught. If throughout our lives we put our marriage and spouse ahead of our kids, they will pick up the same habits and eventually bring those traits into their own marriages and families.
It doesn’t even have to be big things that you have to do – Kirk & Chelsea have 6 kids and sometimes all they could do was go into their office, shut the door and put a note on the door that said, “Do not knock or come in for 1 hour unless someone is bleeding.” And that one-hour would be their date night where they would check in with each other and have time together.
One of the questions on the study guide was how we can give our children a healthy marriage and we simply wrote down things like – setting aside time for each other, doing special little things for one another (flowers, golf, little notes, coffee in the morning, etc.), communicating and not fighting with each other and continuing to learn about one another as we grow and change.
Things like that go a long way and they absolutely make a difference. Those small, imperfect and thoughtful things are so important.
Whatever it is that makes your spouse feel loved, do it & never stop.
Make your spouse a priority
And speaking of priorities – here they are:
Matthew 22:37 – 40
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
There is one last thing that I want to share with y’all that really stuck with me.
Often times we feel inadequate – we feel inadequate to our spouse and/or our kids, but what Chelsea said has really resonated with me and it is something that I think we need to be reminded of more often.
You are the perfect mom for your kids.
You are the perfect husband or wife your spouse.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
- XO -
I'm Emilee. Twenty-something. Homebody. Believer in a simple + intentional life. Daughter of the King. Living in Austin with my hubs.
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