I'm pretty excited for today's post, because a couple of weeks ago while in the midst of our marriage course I had asked Taylor if he would be open to writing his reflection of the course to share with you guys, and he said yes! And now that the course is finished, I am finally able to share his reflection with you.
Me oh my, I love that sweet husband of mine!
So without further ado, I'll let him take it from here - enjoy!
. . .
So this week, as you all know, Em is having me write about what I thought about our course. Going into this whole thing, it was really just about doing something that I knew would make Em happy. The least I could do was give an hour once a week to do something she wants to do, right? So overall, I was excited to do it, but I did not think it would help us. I thought I knew what our main problems were and how to fix them. Boy was I wrong! Kirk and Chelsea’s course really made us think and talk about things that we really just did not acknowledge at the time.
So my expectations going in to the whole thing were that we would hear the same old stuff. Respect each other’s opinions, listen to one another, and work together on things. The typical things that people tell you will make your marriage successful. But they dive so much deeper into marriage then I ever thought. Our conversations led to more tears then I expected. I mean Em is definitely a crier but this really brought that out even more! But that just means that these conversations needed to happen. Right before we started the course, we got into a big fight. We were both stressed from moving and I just boiled over the top. It was not a fun night. We realized we had some things to work on. Nothing crazy but we needed to make sure we fixed some things now before they became issues later on.
One hesitation I did have with the course was that it would be all about God. My experience with church growing up was vastly different then Emilee’s. We would go on and off but once I was in junior high we were just so busy with sports that it just did not fit in. As you can tell from Em's posts, hers was much different than mine, which is okay but I was just hesitant about it. Since Em and I started dating, we go to church any time we can so it’s not like I was completely against it. But after going through the course, that is far from how I feel about it now. They do connect things they say to Christ but they also make it applicable to life in general.
After the first class on the purpose of marriage and changing yourself first, I was coming around the idea that this would benefit us. But Kirk really hammers home that it is a process and it is hard to change. I quickly realized that there were many things that I could work on to be a better husband and this class was just the first step. Some weeks I just did not want to do the class but then I reminded myself that it wasn’t just about me. It was important for us to do this. The excuse that I was too busy just was not going to cut it. Pretty soon I started to look forward to the videos and to hear what the Cameron’s had to say. They present the information in a way you can understand it and even provide you with supplemental articles to read if you would like.
The worksheets after each video were very beneficial in making sure that the information presented in the video was applicable to our lives. But there were some weeks that I had a harder time connecting with the material. There were two weeks where the focus was on parenting and disciplining. Though the information was great and I loved hearing what they had to say on really connecting with your children, I did find it tougher to engage with this material. Not being a father yet, I cannot say how I will discipline my kids until it comes time for that. I have no idea how I will react the first time my son or daughter hits another kid. I can say “oh I will do this and I will do this” but until it happens and I am in the moment, it is hard for me to say what I will really do. This led to a bit of a disagreement between Em and I because she really liked these weeks and it made her think about how she would like to raise kids. But we agreed to disagree on the topic because it was just harder for me to relate at the time.
After going through all 6 weeks of the class, I have had some time to reflect on the classes and realize that it has had a huge impact on me. The classes have made me think about how I act in a whole different way. It has made me more conscientious of what I say and how I say it. I am still not perfect. But the biggest thing this class has given me is that I am now more aware of my faults or the way I interact with my wife. I am more aware of the things I say. I may let some stuff slip out at times but at least now I realize what was wrong about what I said or how I said it. I am still not perfect by any means but I am continuing to grow as a husband.
Another thing I felt was a huge learning opportunity for me was how to have a real conversation with Em again. It is easy to get into the day to day of life and forget the little things. This class really got us talking again and reminded us how important it is make time for these real conversations. Like I said before, the course made us talk about things we had not or did not want to talk about. It made us have tough conversations that needed to happen. We even learned more about the other person that we did not know before.
I would definitely recommend this class to anyone in a long-term relationship. You do not even need to be married honestly. If you are married and you have no issues in your marriage, still go and spend the $30 for the course. Em and I were happy too. We argued, but who doesn’t right? This class is not only for people in struggling marriages that are barely hanging on by a thread. This class can help anybody who is in a committed, loving relationship. This class will help those who have fallen out of love with their significant other but want to make it work. It may even help those of you who are on the other end where you feel like you are trying but the other person is just not interested anymore.
If you have any hesitations, reach out to Emilee or I (or both!) and we can talk about it. If you are interested, go buy the class now! After you have done a few classes, we would love to talk with you about your experience with the course.
To purchase the course, click here!
- Taylor -
I'm Emilee. Twenty-something. Homebody. Believer in a simple + intentional life. Daughter of the King. Living in Austin with my hubs.
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